Back at the beginning of this month, TMZ broke news about Ariana Grande and Mac Miller’s breakup. The singer later shared the news on instagram that the two had broken up on good terms and were still best friends.
“Hi! This is one of my best friends in the whole world and favorite people on the planet Malcolm McCormick,” Ariana wrote. “I respect and adore him endlessly and am grateful to have him in my life in any form, at all times regardless of how our relationship changes or what the universe holds for each of us! Unconditional love is not selfish. It is wanting the best for that person even if at the moment, it’s not you. I can’t wait to know you and support you forever and I’m so proud of you!!”
But with Miller being arrested a week later for drunk driving after a hit-and-run along with new rumors going round that Grande’s seeing SNL’s Pete Davidson, some of Miller’s fans are starting to think that the breakup hit the rapper harder than what he’d let on. And for a lot of them, it’s Grande’s fault.
One fan wrote on twitter,
“Mac Miller totalling [sic] his G wagon and getting a DUI after Ariana Grande dumped him for another dude after he poured his heart out on a ten song album to her called the divine feminine is just the most heartbreaking thing happening in Hollywood.”
Naturally the singer was not here for the shaming and made that very clear in her response to the tweet.
“How absurd that you minimize female self-respect and self-worth by saying someone should stay in a toxic relationship because he wrote an album about them, which btw isn’t the case (just ‘Cinderella’ is ab [sic] me),” she wrote, before mentioning that she had in fact tried to help him with his drinking and prayed for him to get better. “I am not a babysitter or a mother and no woman should feel like they need to be. Of course I didn’t share about how hard or scary it was while it was happening but it was. I will continue to pray from the bottom of my heart that he figures it all out and that any other woman in this position does as well.”
The guy later apologized in another tweet saying that he was just a fan concerned about one of his faves and didn’t mean to imply that the “No Tears Left to Cry” singer was part of the problem.
“I truly worry about his well being just as a fan so I am sorry to minimize any of that or make it seem like a break up is a justifiable cause to go deep end.”
But while, to original tweeter, their comments ” didn’t go as deep as” Grande took them in her response, in reality they really do.
Whether it’s the romanticization of “ride or die” relationships in songs and on social media, proposals made public, or dating advice instructing women to do all the work in keeping failed marriages together, society pressures women to stay in relationships regardless of whether or not they’re right for them.
And when we don’t, we’re casted as ungrateful b****es who were nothing but a waste of time. Even if Miller had written a whole album to her that still wouldn’t have been a reason to debase her decision to leave her relationship especially seeing as it was a toxic one.
“Shaming / blaming women for a man’s inability to keep his s*** together is a very major problem,” Grande pointed out in her response, and she’s right. It’s a very major problem that’s present in everything from rape culture to even recent debates about mass shootings.
Women are constantly told to stop dressing “provocatively” in order to not be sexually harassed/assaulted/raped by men. And when news broke out about one of the the Sante Fe High School shooting victims being a girl the shooter had been harassing for a date, some news outlets framed the girl as being the cause of the shooting.
Society likes making women responsible for the individual actions of the men around them and like Grande says, it needs to stop.
Image via @FallonTonight Twitter
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